12 minutes reading time
Ever feel like you're stuck in a goddamn dystopian comedy where the government is the fucking punchline? Welcome to India, motherfucker. India's greatest export isn't software or spices - it's perfected poverty porn on a scale that would make a Victorian workhouse blush. We've fucking mastered the art of robbing the poor blind to pamper the rich cunts, all while selling this bullshit as 'development'. It's like a magician's trick, but instead of rabbits, we pull out empty wallets and call it progress. Watch us make your hard-earned money vanish into a billionaire's offshore account - abracadabra, you're poorer!
Let me tell you a fucking story that'll make your blood boil so hard you could power a small village. Picture Delhi's electricity subsidy scheme - the kind of "pro-poor" policy that makes you wonder if the government is actively trying to fuck the poor while giving the rich a reach-around. The middle-class cunts get more subsidy benefits than the poorest users, and the richest motherfuckers benefit the most from these supposedly pro-poor subsidies. So the AC-blasting penthouse uncle running three fridges and a goddamn home theater gets more subsidy than the slum dweller sweating his balls off with a single bulb and a fan that died last monsoon. The poor literally subsidize the rich bastard's electricity bill while sitting in the fucking dark during power cuts. And the government calls this "power for all." Based? More like based on a mountain of steaming bullshit.
George Carlin once said the reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. Well, in India, we don't even pretend it's a dream - we just gaslight you while you're wide awake and charge you for the privilege.
Here's the beautiful fucking irony that'll make you want to punch a wall: Most Indians don't even know IIT exists until they're in college. Your average village kid? They're too busy trying not to starve to give a shit about elite institutions. But somehow, we've decided that the chosen few who make it through this rigged-as-fuck filtering system deserve ₹18.7 lakh per year of taxpayer money (source) - way the fuck above what they pay in fees. That's right, your taxes are subsidizing some rich kid's fucking engineering degree while you can't afford healthcare.
Meanwhile, government schools are rotting like a corpse in the sun. Teachers don't show up. Buildings collapse because the contractor pocketed the money. Kids study under trees because the roof fell in last monsoon. But fuck them, right? They're not IIT material - they're just future labor for the rich cunts we're funding.
The government spends peanuts per head on primary education - you know, the actual foundation that determines if a kid even has a fucking shot at IIT. But then they blow massive funds on a handful of institutions that serve as taxpayer-funded training grounds for Silicon Valley. It's fucking brilliant! We've created a system where:
You're not funding education; you're funding a fucking brain drain with regressive characteristics that would make a Victorian industrialist blush. The coaching class scam alone costs more than most Indians make in a year. Poor kids literally fund the system that trains rich kids to become better at fucking over the poor. It's like paying for your own execution.
But sure, let's keep pretending this is about "meritocracy" and not about concentrating public resources where only the already-privileged cunts can access them. It's not that IITs shouldn't exist - it's that spending this much on elite institutions while letting primary education crumble is like putting a fucking diamond necklace on a rotting corpse. The government's message is clear: only elite bastards are worthy of quality public education. Everyone else can go fuck themselves with a rusty spoon.
Oh, you thought agricultural subsidies help poor farmers? That's fucking adorable. Let me shatter that delusion with some brutal fucking facts that'll make you want to burn the system down.
89% of agricultural subsidies go to medium and large farmers (NSSO data). The top 8% control 48% of agricultural income - they're the motherfuckers getting free electricity to pump groundwater until there's nothing left but dust and despair.
Giving tractors to large farmers is like giving a flamethrower to a fucking arsonist - soon they'll be plowing over the graves of smallholders while the government applauds their "entrepreneurial spirit." Meanwhile, farmer suicides hit over 10,000 in 2022 (The Wire), but hey, at least the rich farmers got new fucking toys to play with while the poor drink pesticide!
Free electricity for agriculture sounds pro-poor until you realize the rich farmer with 50 acres and multiple borewells consumes 100x more than the marginal farmer with 2 acres of dust. It's the same regressive bullshit - subsidizing the rich while pretending to help the poor, then wondering why farmers are killing themselves in record numbers. The system isn't broken; it's working exactly as fucking intended: to make the rich richer and the poor deader.
Now, you might be thinking, "Well, I know public funds is being spent, but at least I'm not getting screwed in taxes."
Laughs in fucking GST
You adorable fucking idiot. You're the main course at this feast, and you're about to be eaten alive. 64.3% of all GST revenue comes from the bottom 50% of the population (RBI data). The top 10%, who own 65% of the country's wealth? They contribute a pathetic 3-4% of GST. That's right, the poor are subsidizing the rich's luxury goods while they can't afford fucking bread.
But wait, there's more! Corporate tax cuts in 2019 cost us ₹1.84 lakh crore - more than the entire fucking MGNREGA budget. While 84% of households saw income decline during COVID, corporate profits jumped 70% (Oxfam). It's almost like... no, it couldn't be... the government is taking from the poor to give to the rich? Shocked Pikachu face More like shocked "we're all fucked" face.
Corporate tax cuts: Because why feed the poor when you can feast on their tax dollars like a fucking vampire? The salaried middle class (2% of population) pays more taxes than all of corporate India combined. You're not just carrying your family - you're carrying Ambani's tax breaks on your back while slum dwellers subsidize luxury apartments through consumption taxes. It's a fucking pyramid scheme, and you're at the bottom.
Here's where it gets fucking interesting. Some schemes like MGNREGA actually work - guaranteed employment, direct wages, no middlemen skimming 80% of the fucking money. But elite cunts on Twitter and in every political discourse space (which, spoiler alert, are controlled by the rich motherfuckers and their boot-licking petit bourgeoisie) constantly shit on it like it's their goddamn job. "Waste of money! Creates lazy workers!" they cry from their ivory towers, while conveniently ignoring that it's literally keeping rural India from fucking starving to death.
Then Tamil Nadu said, "What if - and hear me out, you fucking morons - what if we actually helped poor people instead of pretending to while robbing them blind?"
Revolutionary fucking concept, I know. It's like discovering fire, but for basic human decency.
Compare this to other states where poverty schemes have more middlemen than a fucking pyramid scheme. TN proves it's possible to help people without the usual scam. But watch - the elite discourse will find ways to shit on this too because heaven forbid poor people get something without being means-tested to death and back. They'll call it "freebie culture" while their corporate subsidies are called "economic stimulus." The hypocrisy is so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it to the rich as fucking caviar.
The Indian government has mastered the art of reverse socialism. We socialize the losses and privatize the profits, but with a twist - we make the poor pay for both.
While billionaires added ₹3.9 lakh crore during COVID (Oxfam) - enough to buy every Indian a vaccine and still have change for a samosa - 84% of households saw income decline. Based development!
Here's the goddamn joke: Every policy meant to help the poor is designed by rich cunts who've never missed a meal, implemented by corrupt bastards who profit from poverty, and evaluated by elitist pricks who think poverty is when your fucking driver is late.
We've created a system that's so fucked up it would make a dystopian novelist blush:
It's not a bug; it's a feature. It's not incompetence; it's by fucking design. It's not failure; it's working exactly as intended - to keep the rich rich and the poor fucking desperate.
We've perfected reverse Robin Hood to an art form. We steal from the poor, give to the rich, and then gaslight everyone into believing it's "development." We've turned inequality into a fucking masterpiece and poverty into a profitable business model.
The top 1% owns 40.5% of everything (Oxfam 2023). They've convinced the next 9% that they're on the same team - like lambs voting for the slaughterhouse. That 10% has convinced the next 40% that the bottom 50% is the problem. And that bottom 50%? They're too busy trying to fucking survive to notice they're being robbed blind.
Meanwhile, the petit bourgeoisie - the middle-class morons who think they're temporarily embarrassed millionaires - spend their time punching down. They shit on MGNREGA workers while their own taxes subsidize corporate bailouts. They mock government school teachers while funding IIT brain drain. They complain about "freebies" for the poor while their electricity subsidy dwarfs anything a slum dweller could ever dream of.
Carlin was right - it's a big club, and you ain't in it. But in India, we've gone one better. Not only are you not in the club, you're paying for the membership fees, the renovations, and the fucking valet parking for the cunts who laugh at you. And the best part? You'll vote for more of this shit next election.
That's not democracy. That's not development. That's just the most elaborate con job in human history, and we're all marks. The difference is, some of us know we're being conned. The question is: what are we going to do about it?
Probably nothing. There's cricket on TV, the new Rajini movie is out, and we're too busy in the rat race to give a shit about the fucking apocalypse.
Welcome to India, where the only thing trickling down is the despair, and the rich are laughing all the way to the bank.