4 minutes reading time
Warning: Yet another shitpost
Dear Bastards,
Everyone loves to sermonize about “saving.” It’s the secular catechism of capitalism: skip the coffee, stack the cash, salvation will come via compound interest. Cute story. But like most fairy tales, it’s convenient propaganda that keeps you docile while the machine skims your blood. By saving, I mean money, not your crappy Word doc.
Here’s the punchline they never print on the pamphlet: if you’re carrying high‑interest debt, “saving” is just a polite way of burning money for your bank’s entertainment. You earn 3–5% in a savings account on a good day, while your card slurps 20–40% APR every night. That spread is not a “discipline problem.” It’s extraction. See also: net interest margin and credit card interest rates.
Math, because reality doesn’t care about motivational posters:
That’s not “financial prudence.” That’s tribute. Ritual. A tiny daily sacrifice to the gods of balance sheets. They call it “discipline” so you’ll blame yourself instead of the structure.
▓▓ some names and numbers are redacted to protect the guilty ▓▓
Years ago, a well‑meaning clown brigade told a broke friend to “keep saving” while he drowned in revolving debt. Why would you “invest” at 4% while paying 30–40% on the other side? Because sermons are easier than systems, that’s why.
“But saving builds habits.” Sure. So does banging your head against a wall. Habits aren’t holy; outcomes matter. Start by stabbing the highest‑interest vampire first (see debt avalanche; if your brain needs dopamine hits, use the snowball and lie to yourself strategically). Then, when the bleeding slows, build a small emergency moat, because most people can’t take a punch: the Fed’s survey shows many can’t cover a modest surprise bill (SHED). That’s not a personal failing; it’s the design. Read the World Inequality Report and tell me this is about coffee.
Also, stop letting payday‑priests sell you salvation at 300% APR. They aren’t helping; they’re harvesting. Read what a payday loan is and try not to scream.
“But compound interest!” Yes, it’s real (compound interest). It’s also amoral. It compounds your wins if you’re already safe and compounds your ruin if you aren’t. Rich households get assets that snowball; poor households get liabilities that avalanche. That’s not character; that’s marginal propensity to consume colliding with precarity.
The condom analogy, since you degenerates need pictures: condoms are great for sex, not for taking a piss. Use the right protection for the right risk. Savings protect you from random life shrapnel; they don’t protect you from a 30% APR chainsaw. For that, you need to turn the chainsaw off.
Practical heresy for the devout savers:
If you want a sermon, go to church. If you want to survive, read the footnotes.
And for the old‑school among you: “நிலையாமை எல்லாம் உலகு.” Try saving that.
If you are offended, please click here and we will rectify your situation.